Owning Five

Hey Kiddo...I just had this chat with your brother...
Stop growing up on me!
I could stage a protest and not feed you so you will stop growing.
But who are we kidding?
You know where I keep the Chex Mix, your favorite of late.  You know where the juice boxes are, you know to put ice in your cup and always find away to ask for more.
And I always find away to not say "No."
Because you pretty much own me. 
My five year old boy!
You have owned me from the start  Because you came into this world on anything but your own....
A car accident, an ambulance ride, a look on the doctors face....
Now?
So soon?
He has 7 more weeks!!
Too late.
Gurneys and needles.
Crying and then, your first sound, a small squeak. 
Breathing wasn't your own, but the tubes and sounds and monitors and two parents scared out of their minds until you owned up to your spirit and showed us that you of all people-
Had this.
I got this Mom.  No problem!
You owned me then and you own me now.
And can I let you in on a little tip?
I think I like it when you own me.  I makes you and me, "you and me". 
My Ryan... My sweet, energetic, awesome, amazing free spirited little Ryan. 
Who is five.
And if you don't mind I am going to keep calling you my little Ryan.  Because you are, my baby boy.
Yet, sometimes you are so much older then I give you credit for.   You are wise and perceptive of everything around you.  If someone is hurt or crying, you are the first to check on them.  I watched you last month break up a fight in the McDonald's play area.  You just want people happy and to get along.
Except when you are playing with your brother, but that is another post, another story, another part of you being a part of our family.
Because quite honestly, we aren't one without you.
So Happy wonderful 5th Birthday my sweet little peace maker, my angel my pure joy and light.
Thank you for letting me own your heart, because child....
You own mine!

Remember Six.

Last year you turned five. I remember this well because to me, it was one of your milestone’s.
I remember my 5th birthday, shared with my twin sister. We had strawberry pink cupcakes with vanilla icing and it was very, very hot outside.
I remember five, which means you too might remember five.
And today you are six, and you will definitely remember six.
Six is big boy stuff. Six is Kindergarten and school bus riding and receiving your own phone calls and the changing of your face just a tiny bit more taking you from toddler to pre-schooler to (gulp) a boy.
I certainly remember six. So you know what this means?  It means I can't screw this up anymore. You are watching, learning, seeing, hearing, paving the way towards you’re soon to be adolescent years.
And you will remember everything my baby.
Every fun, every sad, every rough patch, every ocean wave, every bike ride, every scary movie.
And every time Mommy upsets you.
Every time you make a mistake, and every time you learn something new about yourself.
Six... It seems so old, yet you are still so young. You still love your baby blanket, you love long hugs and any and all things sweet and tender. You don't mind being by yourself from time to time but you need reassurance, need to know you are accepted for who you are.
You are so smart Evan. You went from learning to talk, to learning new words to now- learning how to spell them and you read books. Oh boy do you read books! You read everything. You love to read and you love to fix me, to correct me, you charge me a quarter every time I say a bad word
You will soon have more money than me!
But that is you, your wheels are always turning, always processing. You look for the happy in everything but your serious side still shows up too. You have friendships now, some great, some challenging. Some not so much of either, but you handle and you learn and you preserve and you even told me the other day, what persevere means and in a nutshell you are perfect.
All six years of your wonderful little life has been perfect.
And so you will remember six. You will remember a train ride and a circus and a fun lunch and a warm day in January just for you. You will remember sharing cupcakes with your class and your favorite Lugi’s cheese pizza for dinner. You will remember telling everyone that you are now six and your Mommy always adding "Going on sixteen…." You will remember your brother who in 5 more days will have his turn with age five. And you will guide him and teach him and tease him and of course fight with him because it is just what brothers do.
And you will remember that no matter what, Mommy and Daddy love you more than anything. That we are always here, always supporting you, hugging you, surrounding you, coaching you, with every ounce of our selves.
And if you don’t remember that I will.
As I will also remember how much you have blessed our lives with love, happiness and pure wonder.
And always will.
Happy Birthday Evan.