For someone who loves to write, you would think I would be great with words. But looking back I have never really been good at formulating my thoughts out loud. I do better on a keyboard, where I can type, evaluate, delete and type again. I have the famous "do over" ability that one doesn't really get when they are speaking to a group or friend or in my case, the 4 year old.
I have often wished for the ability to go back and say what it was I really wanted to say. I truly do envy those who not only can speak articulately but also really get their point a cross. My sister is one of those. She has the natural born debate gene in her and she can always justify her thoughts and her opinions that not only make sense but also leave an impression. I on the other hand will bit my bottom lip, over think my response and most of the time spit out something like "That's true" or attempt to quote a sonnet (depending on the situation).
So now that my boys are getting older and they begin to discover their little worlds more, I find that we are entering a new phase. Their little active minds and imaginations are processing things faster...clearer and lately they have a comeback question or statement for just about everything. Now before, I could get away with a silly explanation, one that was one part made up and the other part done up in mommy words and tone that just made sense at the time. Now, it's a different ball game...
In Monday's case.. The infamous deflating helium balloon they both got from Sunday school the day before... I heard a quiet little voice whimper "Mommy the balloon won't fly anymore" my close to tears 4 year old says as the sad little balloon just barely hovered and bobbed along the floor looking like it was indeed on it's last leg.
Hmmmm... How to explain... Do I introduce the concept of the chemical make up of helium or is now a good time to talk about when things die? Or should I just kneel over it, and blow on it, in hopes that it will at least rise up a little and satisfy him temporarily. In a nutshell I failed on all three and told the child we will get him a new one and to go grab a cookie from the kitchen.
A few weeks ago it was question about the Human Body.
"Mommy why do girls go pee pee sitting down?"
"Uhhhh....well...." How about a brownie?"
"But Mommy girls sit down to go pee pee."
"Yes sweetie, I know that's because God gave girls a "who who" and boys a "thingy"
"You mean a penis" he shoots back all confident (since when did he become Mr. know it all?)
"Um, yes honey, your penis. That's right. Now who is hungry for a brownie and ice cream?"
Needless to say he settled for both and the human body questions were tabled at least for awhile anyways. But when he brought it up again later in the day I did my best to explain to him why girls are made differently than boys. But hours later I worried did I make any sense? Did I leave any impression? Is he scared for life? Is he going to be the next Ted Bundy because he is uncertain about gender differences? Is he going to have a cavity because he had 12 cookies today?
I find myself saying weird things lately... Explaining things I am just not ready to explain...Most recently, trying to figure out how to talk my way out of a conversation with Ryan that began with him telling me he had a pickle in his underwear.
Where do they get it from?? My kids are 4 and 3... Now granted the 3 year old mainly just follows the 4 year old but what little inquisitive things they both are lately Everything is a question followed up by another and another and the famous "But why"
But I think what is really bothering me is a trend I am seeing within my self. I am a procrastinator. Not in a bad way, I just tend to put things off. For as long as I can remember if there was an awkward situation or a moment where I knew I was going to get in trouble I did the famous head in the sand move. My Mom, to this day, still gives me a hard time about how she had to threaten to take down all my Bon Jovi posters if I didn't clean up my room. I still hate to call people back who called me days ago because I am embarrassed that it has taken me so long to call back. I still have thank you notes to fill out from the boy’s birthday party 7 months ago. My gmail account currently has 2236messages 84 of them I have yet to read...
Do you see the trend??
It's probably good to write about this since hopefully I will learn I am not alone. I know that more questions will come from the boys,and probably more cookie offerings from mommy. But as I think about it, it's really not all that bad to be going through this phase with them. After all everything in their world right now is still perfect in their eyes. They have no idea yet the magnitude of anything really except that the Transformers dudes are cool, Bouncy houses are even cooler and this Mommy person caters too and takes care of just about every need or want.
So maybe, just maybe, any reply I have for them with their questions will be perfect to them and for their little worlds. Because when all is said and done, explaining anything to these growing boys means they still need me. Having them grow up and move just a little further away from me can be put off for a little while longer.
And that right there is perfectly fine with me!